The 5 Funniest 2015 Commencement Speakers
At commencement ceremonies, every speaker gets to be a comedian, even comedians. The competition was tough, but at least two of the best lines compiled by The Washington Post, came from politicians.
“I stand here humbled, gracious and completely naked under this robe.”
--Maya Rudolph, Tulane University
“The UVA community has some experience with being defined by outsiders. It has been said that a rolling stone gathers no moss. I would add that sometimes a rolling stone also gathers no verifiable facts or even the tiniest morsels of journalistic integrity.”
--Ed Helms, University of Virginia
“Tisch graduates, you made it. And you’re f----ed. The graduates from the College of Nursing, they all have jobs. The graduates from the College of Dentistry, fully employed. The Leonard N. Stern School of Business graduates, they’re covered. The School of Medicine graduates, each one will get a job. The proud graduates of the NYU School of Law, they’re covered. And if they’re not, who cares? They’re lawyers.”
--Robert DeNiro, Tisch School of the Arts, New York University
…[Yale was] one touchdown away from beating Harvard this year for the first time since 2006. So close to something you’ve wanted for eight years. I can only imagine how you feel. I can only imagine.”
--Vice President Joe Biden, Yale University
Those of you who are graduating this afternoon with high honors, awards and distinction, I say, ‘Well done.’ And as I like to tell the C students, ‘You, too, can be president.’”
--former President George W. Bush, Southern Methodist University
Stat of the Day: 0.2%
The New York Times’ Jim Tankersley tweets: “In order to raise enough revenue to start paying down the debt, Trump would need tariffs to be ~4% of GDP. They're currently 0.2%.”
Read Tankersley’s full breakdown of why tariffs won’t come close to eliminating the deficit or paying down the national debt here.
Number of the Day: 44%
The “short-term” health plans the Trump administration is promoting as low-cost alternatives to Obamacare aren’t bound by the Affordable Care Act’s requirement to spend a substantial majority of their premium revenues on medical care. UnitedHealth is the largest seller of short-term plans, according to Axios, which provided this interesting detail on just how profitable this type of insurance can be: “United’s short-term plans paid out 44% of their premium revenues last year for medical care. ACA plans have to pay out at least 80%.”
Number of the Day: 4,229
The Washington Post’s Fact Checkers on Wednesday updated their database of false and misleading claims made by President Trump: “As of day 558, he’s made 4,229 Trumpian claims — an increase of 978 in just two months.”
The tally, which works out to an average of almost 7.6 false or misleading claims a day, includes 432 problematics statements on trade and 336 claims on taxes. “Eighty-eight times, he has made the false assertion that he passed the biggest tax cut in U.S. history,” the Post says.
Number of the Day: $3 Billion
A new analysis by the Department of Health and Human Services finds that Medicare’s prescription drug program could have saved almost $3 billion in 2016 if pharmacies dispensed generic drugs instead of their brand-name counterparts, Axios reports. “But the savings total is inflated a bit, which HHS admits, because it doesn’t include rebates that brand-name drug makers give to [pharmacy benefit managers] and health plans — and PBMs are known to play games with generic drugs to juice their profits.”
Chart of the Day: Public Spending on Job Programs
President Trump announced on Thursday the creation of a National Council for the American Worker, charged with developing “a national strategy for training and retraining workers for high-demand industries,” his daughter Ivanka wrote in The Wall Street Journal. A report from the president’s National Council on Economic Advisers earlier this week made it clear that the U.S. currently spends less public money on job programs than many other developed countries.
